So last week I posted on Facebook about David's morning with all 3 kids.  All I wanted was a morning to go get my haircut and workout and maybe cram in a lil' work since preschool is 3 hours long.  I got up at 6:45 to get everybody ready (including 5 minutes for myself) and I GOT HUFFED AT!

dress myself with 2 kids whining for juice
dress all 3 kids
feed them breakfast
breathing treatments
pack backpacks
shoes-mittens-hats on
2 kids into the car.  

dress himself & a nice hot shower
write checks for school
put Taylor in the car.  

And he huffed at me for not having Taylor in the car!!!

It used to frustrate me beyond belief and then I came to the realization after having Rylan - Men are not made to multitask!  So I want to know how you all do it...what's the ratio for the To Do list?


  1. You are right. Men are NOT made to multitask. They have one track minds and definitely can not handle it when stress takes over. I work full-time and also do 90% of taking care of the kids, including one 34 year old husband, when I'm home. I think women expect more out of themselves and men more easily accept the "that's good enough" philosophy.

  2. If my husband has anything on the to do list at home (fixing lights, replcing door handles, etc.) the only thing I can expect from him is that the kids are safe. They will have dirty diapers and messes all over the place. And I get grief for sitting in front of the tv with 2 clean, fed kids, not mention a clean house. It is harder than anybody really knows to be a stay-at-home mom.

  3. Lets begin with the morning. We have 4 kids age range 7, 6, 3, and 1 7 month old. This is how the morning looks like.

    Get the kids out of bed
    make breakfast for all the kids and myself. BF is usually eggs, toast and a glass of milk. Make lunch for 2 of the kids so they can take to school. After help the 3 get dressed comb hair and brush teeth. Feed the 7 month old. Make sure they have all the gear for school we live in MN. Take the dog out so he can do his business.Get everyone on the car and take the two oldest to school.

    My Husband
    Wakes up, workout, take a long hot shower, make himself breakfast and lunch. Then goes to work.

  4. Daddies do things differently is what I say. My husband will joke about how nice it must be to stay home, watch "Oprah", and hang out in my 'comfy clothes' all day. I've got an almost 4yr old, a 2yr old, and am nearly 8mo preg. NO ONE understands being a mom especially a stay at home, 'hand's on' mom unless you've been there. I need to stop trying to get my husband to get it b/c he never will.

  5. I don't think I would be much help at all. My husband pretty much gets the kids ready on Sunday mornings for church and puts them in the car. All I have to do is pick out their clothing and approve of the way they look before they leave the house. Josh lets me sleep in a bit and get ready without distractions because he knows I need my sleep or I'm a brat how long I take to get ready, lol!

  6. In the morning I am responsible for feeding both my children. If I allow my significant other to feed the kids he will forget to change their diaper and pullups. After breakfast he works out, but when its my turn to work out he still doesn't keep up with the little things they need. So I cant do a full workout. I decided to try wake up early enough the workout before the kids wake up, but its been difficult. I am workout out but not as much as I would like. So I try to make the most of my workout time. I've come to realize that I"m just better with multitasking an getting things done for the kids.

  7. To prove your point and to avoid any further arguments, the wives should trades places with the husbands for just ONE day. That's it. Make to-do lists for each other of what the usual day looks like.

  8. While my husband is very helpful, we have different definitions of clean, acceptable attire & ready. I think in general men don't think beyond right now. 'Snacks? Lunch? Naps? We just ate breakfast!' He does well as long as I tell him what needs to be done & if it's anymore than 2 things at a time, it's ovwewhelming lol! It's nice he can be here somedays for us all to get out of the house, but most of those days, he's one more person to manage & direct :)

  9. Funny! I just wrote a little schedule of how my day goes too in my post here (at the bottom of the post):

    My hubby goes to work by 5:30 and off by 3:30 and he just lounges the rest of the afternoon until we do stuff at night. He does do okay on the weekend of helping me out some, but mostly I do everything! You are right....they so can't multi-task. And he thinks since he was at work all day he doesn't have to do much at home. Hello!! We still have a home and kids that we both created, so we both have to help out with them!!! hahaha...

  10. Thanks for posting this... I too do most of all the difficult-stuff and housework... It's comforting to see other's husbands aren't overly helpful

  11. As much as we'd like to reverse the situation, I work outside the home and my husband takes care of our little guy. He also does all the baking/cooking. I would get crabby b/c I would continue to work around the house once I got home and he would lay on the couch for the evening (although I was the one who wanted to feed our baby and get him ready for bed, etc.) Well recently my husband had surgery to re-attach ligaments. Now (and for the next few months) I do EVERYTHING. Realizing how good I had it. :)

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  13. It may be partially due to the fact that you just had a baby this year, and everyone, including husbands, are still adjusting to the work load. You have more laundry, more dishes (I don't nurse either), more people to bathe/get ready/spend time with, but you have less time, sleep, and energy to get it all done. That first year or so is just plain hard!

    My husband works nearly 60 hours per week and many Saturdays, and it used to bother me (because as all moms know, we work even more than that) when he wouldn't notice that things needed to be done when he got home. So I decided that instead of having a pity party for myself about it and giving him the silent treatment, I was just going to ask when I needed help.

    Another strategy is to give him options (this sort of sounds like I'm dealing with a toddler, but whatever). So I'll say (nicely), "Hey, I could use some help. Would you rather do the dinner dishes or get the kids in the tub and ready for bed? And then we can watch a movie together." He almost always chooses getting the kids ready for bed which gives him time with them and I get to do the dishes without interruption. And did you notice I promised a movie together? If there's something fun after the work, it makes everyone happier.

    Sorry, super long comment...but it always helps me to remember that there will come a day when I will miss the chaos of three little kids at home. I probably can't see it now, but it will happen, and I want my marriage to still be good when we get to that point, so you know...think big picture!

  14. This post made me laugh....cuz it is sooo true! My hubby does help alot, but sometimes I wish he could do a day in my shoes....just to see. I also have 3 littles (4,2,9mos) and getting out the door on time is PAINFUL!! No matter how I try it doesn't seem to happen! Thanks for keeping it real. Wish I had an a multitasking pill for men...haha! Hope you got to enjoy your morning off - even if it had a stressful start :)

  15. This post made me laugh too, BUT in all honesty my hubby does a TON!
    If I go out, I usually come home to a clean home.
    I'll be honest, not sure how he does it, since I am a shm and still don't get half the stuff done that HE does in MORE time.

    But don't fret, I get a bunch of huffing when he gets up with the kids in the middle of the night! (due to me either NOT hearing the kids and sleeping too deeply) :)

  16. I'll start off my comment by letting you know I got my degree in Communications. Ergo, I don't allow myself to keep doing things around the house without letting my husband know I am building up resentment or anger at his lack of help with household chores. I'm a stay-at-home mom and when I quit my career to stay home with our little girl, there were a lot of "role" changes that needed to be discussed. Well, my daughter turned 2 in November and we still have regular discussions about how things are going. Moral of the story is it is an on-going life-long process. I don't think men will ever get to the point where they totally get the to-do list and know everything that's required...frankly, they need to be told, and often! My husband likes knowing if thinks make me angry or upset because then he can fix it or change. If I build up my distress and just keep going it comes out ugly. Regular discussions on how you both think things are going are what I recommend. :)

  17. My husband works part time; I work full time. He cooks all the dinners, does most of the dishes, and goes grocery shopping. I do all the laundry and bills. He gets really huffy if I suggest he go grocery shopping at 1:00 on Sunday afternoon, rather than at 6:00, when all of us have to be up by 5:30 a.m. on Monday morning. He also gets huffy if I "take too long" paying bills on a Saturday (if we were planning on going out to do something fun that afternoon - I think it's helpful to know how much money we don't have to spend while out and about), and gets huffy if I remind him that in fact it is my salary that is putting a roof over his head. But I am thankful he cooks dinner - even if he does not have any sense of time and so thus tonight dinner was at 8:00, which is our oldest daughter's bedtime. It was meatloaf and salad and mighty tasty too. Oh, and thank you Lindsay for all your videos - they certainly do make a difference!

  18. I got too bored with two kids being a stay at home mom, so I went back to school. Everyone is even, now. Before that, the only thing I required my husband to do was to clean up after himself and change the diapers once he was home. On weekends everything was 50/50. He loves being a dad though and has never complained once. Guess I got lucky.

  19. Men just don't..."get it". And they never will! My mom always warned me about this! LOL I love my husband dearly and he is a great father but they will never truly understand what being a mother is all about. That's why us mom's need to stick together and continue to support each other. You almost have to plan as if they didn't exist, in order to prevent yourself from having a total meltdown over why they can't figure out to just change their diaper, pick an outfit out, distract them, etc. We feel ya, hang in there!!

  20. To do list? It's ALL me!
    Fiancee does NOTHING around here.

    Our morning would skip the check writing and putting one child in the car. He'd take a 30 minute shower (no joke) while I did everything else!

    We just had our second in December and he's been a LITTLE (LITTLE) Better, but not by much!